Liberal TransPod
Transpod: tranz-POD (noun) From: Transsexual + POD (piece of dung) #Mode of wheeled personal transportation appliance favored by [Liberals, Homosexuals and Hollywood Elitists that is devoid of style, performance and comfort. #Refrigerator with wheels. #A vehicle possesing any of these characteristics: ##Too small for a Real American to drive while wearing a Cowboy Hat. ##Uses electricity for propulsion. ##"Claims" to be Green, or good for the Environment. ##Wheels smaller than 17 inches. ##Tires less than 195mm wide, or with a speed rating lower than VR. ##Owned by anyone featured on the Planet Green Network. ##Used in the same sentence as "cute." ##"Claims" to get over 30mpg EPA HWY Origin Steeped In Green Propaganda Hybrid Myths Exposed Variants I am left speechless.]] There are many types of powerplants available. All of them suck. With the exception of the Diesel engine. Dr. Rudolph Diesel got it right and is a Real American. If you MUST purchase a POD make it a Diesel. Gasoline Powered In general, the least Liberal, have the best performance and lowest overall cost of ownership. With the exception of the Smart Fortwo, only idiots drive those. All Liberals drive cars like this, but all cars like this are NOT driven by Liberals. Many are offered in fire breathing performance models (all of which are noted as honorary Real Americans). Some Examples: *Mazda 3 (Speed 3) *Toyota Corolla/Matrix *Ford Focus (Cosworth: EU only) *Subaru Imprezza (STI) *Scion all models (TC avail. w/Supercharger) *Honda Civic, Fit *Nissan Versa, Sentra *Mitsubishi Lancer (EVO 450bhp) *Mercedes Smart Fortwo (Brabus nope, that's still crap) Diesel Powered Zieg Heil! Ich bin ein Volkswagoner! *VW Jetta TDI *Some Smart Fortwos (very rare) Electric Powered Joy to the world! Electric cars have a range of three feet and cost $1,000,000. All those batteries have the Carbon Footprint of Godzilla to make and dispose of. Electric cars totally suck. And will be discussed no more. *Gee Whiz *Tesla Model S *GM EV 4 *Zap! Xebra ('cause three wheels is better than four, amirite?) Hydrogen Powered The ultimate in feel-good liberal vaporware. These apparently run on water (technically an element called hydrogen, but does it really matter?). Yeah, I'll wait and see it with my own eyes. The cheapest prototype hydrogen car allegedly costs $12,352,645. Oh, and you need to go to a special hydrogen-providing gas station. And they only exist in southern California. Strangely, some people still believe this technology is gonna go anywhere. *Honda FCX Clarity *A whole slew of concept cars designed solely to convince you that our automakers actually care about the environment Hybrid (Gerbil) Powered The latest feel good fashion accessory of elitist scum. These cars embody all that is evil and hypocritical in our beloved world, are driven by Assholes and make The Baby Jesus Cry. *Toyota Prius *Ford Fusion Hybrid *Honda CR-Z (ironically marketed as a sports car) *Chevrolet Volt (Government Motors lied and called it a fully electric vehicle) *Honda Civic Hybrid Factoids Celica.]] Team dispatched to clean up toxic spill. OOPS! Protecting the environment? Note: The Chevy pickup that hit it drove away from the scene with"minor" damage.]] *Celebs and Elitists love saving the world while they drive to the airport, to board their Private Jets. *Are the progeny of evil Dragons and cheap Japanese econo-boxes. *If one is taken to a Real American place like Texas or a Drive-In Movie, all passengers will be beaten and raped by drunken Rednecks. Who will then steal your car, cut off the roof and use it to carry their Beer coolers around the pits at NASCAR races. *Driving one reduces your manliness Factor to {null}. *Mercedes Benz has licensed Brabus to produce a hopped-up, decked-out version of its Smart Car. Proving the absolute and blatent hypocrisy of Liberal Elitist Scum. *There will never be a TransPod sold at the Barrett-Jackson Auction. *Considered Mopeds in these states, TransPods are not allowed on Interstate Highways in Montana, Idaho, Nevada, Texas, Wyoming, Arizona and Alaska. *Are impossible to have sex in unless you are dwarf Little Person like Tom Cruise. Who is Gay Straight. *While manufacturers claim 5-Star crash ratings, this is a barrier test. Try a head on at 70mph with a Ford F350. You will be vaporized. Everyone in the Ford will go for cocktails to celebrate. *What do you call a TransPod driven by a black person African-American? "Borrowed!" *The Prius Owners Group (POG) holds their Winter Carnival in Quebec, Canada. The birthpalce of Communism. *Golf carts are cooler than TransPods, go faster and are safer. Really Stupid Quotes *“It (Prius) gets 52 miles per gallon. In the city. Isn't that exciting?” - Cameron Diaz *"I absolutely love our Prius. In addition to being obviously economical and environmentally friendly, they drive great and are just plain sexy. There’s no reason all Americans shouldn’t be driving hybrid cars." - Will Ferrell Idiots Who Drive Them See Also External Tubes